Give us your joke or riddle below! We need them!
Joke: How did the gum get across the road? Because he was attached to the chickens foot!!!!!!!!
Joke: A tourist had to go to a particluar shop. So he asked a person, "Which bus should I take?" The man said "56". When the man came back after an hour, he was surprised because the tourist was still standing there. The tourist said "55 buses have passed. The next shall be mine."
Joke: If the green house is on the left and the red house on the right then where is the white
Answer:in Washington D.C.
Joke: Why did the dog get under the shade tree?
Because he didn't want to be a HOT DOG!!!!!!
Joke: What did the porkie pine say when he hugged the other porkie Pine?
Joke: why did the lemar cross the road?To get to his baby.
Joke: Mom calls it a musical cookie jar. I call it a burgaler alarm!!
Joke: One day President Bush went for a walk in his gardens. He saw a man standing there who looked like Moses. "He is Moses," President Bush thought as he walked up to him. "Sir?" The President asked and Moses turned his head. "Sir!?" Moses turned his head the other way. "Sir!" Finally Moses turned and said,"The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."
Joke: why did the chickin cross the road??
Answer: To show the possom it could be done!
Caleb (By the way Caleb, that's one of my favorites!)
Joke: What is Black and White and "red" all over?
Well duh! A Newspaper!
Joke: What is better than God, Worse than the devil, and if you eat it you will die?
OK do u you give up?
It is Nothing!!
Sean, New York
Question-What do you call a fly with no wings?
OK, who's who?
What kind of shoes do banana peels make?
vilma dreams come true?
This is Hartley the time to be telling knock-knock jokes!
Joke: Why did Noah cross the road?
Because they were selling boats on the other side!
Joke: The Sunday before Christmas, a pastor told his congregation that the church
needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little
more than usual into the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most
would be able to pick out three hymns. After the offering plates were passed,
the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in
offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his
congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the
money in the plate. A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way
in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front.
Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that
she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most
handsome men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."
ADVICE FROM KIDS AND TEENS
1. Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10
2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer
- Michael, 14
3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14
4. Stay away from prunes.
- Randy, 9
5. Never pee on an electric fence.
- Robert, 13
6. Don't squat with your spurs on.
- Noronha, 13
7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
- Emily, 10
8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11
9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school
- Traci, 14
10. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9
11. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9
12. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
- Lauren, 9
13. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10
14. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on
- Alyesha, 13
15. Never try to baptize a cat.
- Eileen, 8
MrGene found these floating around in E-mail.
Joke: Q:What do you get when you come across a dog, a car,
and a magical rug?
A. A flying car-pet!
Joke: Q: What has four legs, is green and fuzzy and could break your leg if
it fell out of a tree?
A: A Pool table!
Joke: Let me tell you this first. A seer in the Bible is a prophet.
Q: When Saul was looking for Samuel, where was he going?
A: He was going to Sears!!!
Joke - Q: What state is the smartest state?
A : Alabama - It has 4 A's and 1 B!
Joke - What is white, black, and red all over?
A zebra with a sunburn!
Parents may see signs that their kids look to them as role models, but that may be wishful thinking.
Consider the little girl who picks up her mother's stethoscope one day and begins playing with it. The doctor watches her.
"Be still, my heart," thinks the doctor. "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps."
Then the child speaks into the instrument, "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
MrGene read this from a joke service.
Joke - Q - Why are fish so smart???
A - Because they travel in schools!!!
Joke - Q - What do you call two banana peels?
A - A pair of slippers!
Joke - Q - What does a bird on sale say?
A - "cheap, cheap"
Riddle -Q - What weighs more? 1,000 pounds of cotton, or 1,000 pounds of
A - Neither, both of them weigh 1,000 pounds!
Joke - Q - Why is the longest nose only 11 inches???
A - If it were 12 inches, it would be a foot!
Joke - Q - Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A - To get his quarterback!
Joke - Q - Why did the ketchup cross the road?
A- To get to the hot dog!
Joke - Q - Who is the best baby sitter in the Bible?
A - David, he rocked Goliath to sleep!
Visitor - BrennaM
Joke - A Christian big game hunter was in Africa hunting. All of a sudden a lion roared behind him. He turned around too quickly and dropped his gun. The lion charged towards him and all the hunter could do was run. He ran through trees and trails, but still the lion kept chasing him. When he couldn't run any more he said a quick prayer. "Dear God, please let this be a Christian lion." He fell in exhaustion, and the lion crept up to him. The lion put his front paws on the hunter, looked him in the face, and said," God is great, God is good, let us thank him for this food, Amen." MrGene
Joke - Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers! AnnaP
Joke - Why did the chicken cross the road in front of the Tyson truck?
Because he wanted to be with his girl friend. TommyC
Joke - A little girl was talking to a friend of hers about Jesus in school. An atheist teacher heard her and started to ask her questions.
Teacher: Do you really believe there was a man named Jesus?
Girl : Yes.
Teacher: Do you believe God created the earth in 7 days?
Girl: : And everything in it.
Teacher: Do you believe Moses saw a burning bush that didn't burn?
Girl : Yes.
Teacher : Do you believe Jonah was swallowed by a fish and was spit out?
Girl : Yes, and I'm going to ask him about it when I get to heaven!
Teacher : What if he isn't in heaven?
Girl : Then you can ask him!